8我们原本不是美妙的。我们得救之前,是在全圣所之地的墙外,那时我们非常爱自己。等我们得了救,从门进到外院之后,就不再那么爱自己了,但多少仍有些自怜。然而,等我们进入内院之后,就不再自爱或自怜了;反而,我们恨恶己。当我们更往前来到祭坛,就看见丑陋的己已经被了结;这己就是我们在墙外时所爱,也是我们在外院时所怜,并且是我们在内院时所恨恶的。既然己已被了结,我们就不需要爱牠或怜牠,甚或恨牠了。反而,我们应该简单的把己忘掉,将其留在祭坛上。我们已经指出,在我们与神的交通中,十字架-祭坛-既然是占中心的位置,我们就无法避开牠。事实上,我们一旦从门进来了,就开始看见关于十字架的事。十字架含示于门,门表征主耶稣满足十条诫命所有的要求,然后死在十字架上满足神律法公义的要求。在外院的铺石地上吃祭物,也含示十字架,因为这些祭物乃是经过了死。不仅如此,煮祭肉的地方,和宰杀祭牲的桌子,也含示十字架。这指明神的圣所各处都看见十字架-大门、铺石地、外院四拐角煮祭物的地方、和内院的桌上。所以,十字架不只是中心,也是圆周。十字架扩展到四方,到每一个角落。我们得救之后,到处都碰著十字架。不藉著十字架,就不能摸著基督,或有基督徒属灵的经历。在我们基督徒生活中,虽然到处都碰著十字架,但是当我们来到祭坛,就是来到神建筑的中心时,还是要特别的经历十字架。来到中心的祭坛,乃是认识我们一切所是并所有,都在十字架这里了结了。在此我们有十字架确定的经历,并不仅仅是表面的认识。在我们与主的交通中,我们被带到一个点:确定的摸著十字架,感觉到神不再让我们凭天然的人活著。这使我们这个人有了主要的破碎,而绝对的降服于十字架。结果,我们就认识天然的生命是甚么,以及脱去旧造是甚么意思。这就是经历十字架作中心。
8Originally we were not wonderful. Before we were saved, we were outside the wall of the temple compound, and we loved ourselves very much. After we were saved and passed through the gate into the outer court, we no longer loved ourselves as much but still had a certain amount of self-pity. However, after we come into the inner court, we no longer love ourselves or pity ourselves; rather, we hate the self. As we proceed further and come to the altar, we see that the ugly self, which we loved when we were outside the wall, pitied in the outer court, and hated in the inner court, has already been terminated. Since the self has been terminated, there is no need for us to love it or pity it or even hate it. Instead, we should simply forget the self and leave it on the altar. We have pointed out that since the cross, the altar, occupies a central place in our relationship with God, we cannot avoid it. Actually, as soon as we enter through the gate, we begin to realize something concerning the cross. The cross is implied in the gate which signifies the Lord Jesus who fulfilled all the requirements of the Ten Commandments and who then died on the cross to fulfill the righteous requirements of God’s law. The cross is also implied in the eating of the sacrifices, which have passed through death. This eating takes place on the pavement. Furthermore, the boiling places and the tables upon which the sacrifices are slain both imply the cross. This indicates that throughout the holy building of God, we can see the cross—at the main gate, on the pavement, at the boiling places in the corners, and at the tables in the inner court. The cross, therefore, is not only the center but also the circumference. The cross spreads in every direction and to every corner. After we have been saved, we will meet the cross everywhere. Apart from the cross, it is impossible to contact Christ or to have Christian spiritual experiences. Although we meet the cross everywhere in our Christian life, we experience the cross in a particular way when we come to the altar at the center of God’s building. To come to the altar at the center is to realize that all that we are and all that we have were terminated at the cross. Here we have a definite experience of the cross and not merely a superficial knowledge about the cross. In our fellowship with the Lord, we are brought to the point where we touch the cross in a definite way and sense that God will no longer allow us to live in our natural man. This causes us to have a major breakthrough and an absolute submission to the cross. As a result, we will know what the natural life is and what it means for the old creation to be stripped away. This is the experience of the cross as the center.