9不要定意行善。保罗说,『立志为善由得我,只是行出来由不得我。』(18。)保罗继续说,『因为我所愿意的善,我反不作;我所不愿意的恶,我倒去作。』(19。)所以,在下一节里他下结论:『若我去作所不愿意的,就不是我行出来的,乃是住在我里面的罪行出来的。』(20。)正如我们所指出的,这是保罗得救以前的经历,但几乎所有的基督徒得救以后都这样经过。我们若没有这样的经历,就不会被暴露到极点,也不会领悟我们是何等无可救药。也许今天你就曾定意行善。立志很自然,很容易。你对主冷淡时,不会定意为祂行善。但你一得著复兴,回到主面前,立刻就定意行善。每次你定意行善,你就为自己制定诫命,就是自定的律法。这些不是摩西颁赐的律法,乃是自己制定的律法。然而,原则是一样的。无论是摩西颁赐的律法,或自定的律法,最终都会把你暴露出来。许多年前我常常祷告:『主阿,我不要对妻子发脾气。我要作好丈夫,一直爱妻子。主,帮助我爱她。』照著我的经历,这样的祷告从来没有得著答应。事实上,我越为发脾气祷告,我就越发脾气。你若不这样祷告,也许一两周不发脾气。但你若为这事祷告,不久以后就会发脾气。已过的年间,许多姊妹到我这来说,她们为著要对丈夫和孩子有好的态度而祷告,但就在她们祷告那天,她们的态度比从前更坏。在我早年尽职时,人问我这样的问题,我和他们一样。按道理说,我告诉他们,这是要帮助他们认识他们的所是。这对我们仅仅是道理;直到有一天,我们不得不领悟,我们完全没有良善。我们一旦看见这点,就绝不会再定意行善;反而我们会到罗马八章去。
9Do not make up your mind to do good. Paul said, “To will is present with me, but to do the good is not” (7:18). Paul went on to say, “For the good which I will, I do not; but the evil I do not will, this I practice” (7:19). Therefore, in the next verse he concluded, “But if what I do not will, this I do, it is no longer I that do it but sin that dwells in me” (7:20). As we pointed out, this was Paul’s experience before he was saved, but nearly all Christians pass through it after they are saved. If we do not have such an experience, we shall not be exposed to the uttermost and shall not realize how hopeless we are. Perhaps even today you have made up your mind to do good. It is so natural, so easy, to will. When you were somewhat cold toward the Lord, you did not make up your mind to do good for Him. But after you are revived and come back to the Lord, you immediately make up your mind to do good. Every time you make up your mind to do good, you make a commandment, a self-made law, for yourself. These are not the laws given by Moses; they are the laws enacted by the self. Nevertheless, the principle is the same. Whether it is a law given by Moses or a law made by the self, you will end up being exposed. Many years ago I used to pray, “O Lord, I don’t want to lose my temper with my wife. I want to be a good husband and love my wife all the time. Lord, help me to love her.” According to my experience, I have never received an answer to such a prayer. In fact, the more I prayed about losing my temper, the more I lost it. If you do not pray in this way, you may not lose your temper for a week or two. But if you pray about it, you will lose your temper very soon afterward. In the past years many sisters have come to me and said that they prayed about having a good attitude towards their husbands and children, but that on the very day they prayed, their attitudes were worse than ever. When people asked me such questions in the early years of my ministry, I was the same as they were. Speaking doctrinally, I told them that this was to help them to know what they are. This is merely doctrine to us until one day we are forced to realize that we are absolutely no good. Once we see this, we shall never again make up our mind to do good. Instead, we shall go to Romans 8.