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以弗所书生命读经 · 第52篇

夫妻关系的生活

LIVING IN THE RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN WIFE AND HUSBAND
1在本篇信息中，我们要来看五章二十二至三十三节，在这一段我们看见夫妻关系的正确生活。
1In this message we come to 5:22-33, where we see the proper living in the relationship between wife and husband
壹 在灵里被充满，
I. AN ASPECT OF THE LIVING FILLED IN SPIRIT
成为神一切丰满之生活的一面
UNTO ALL THE FULLNESS OF GOD
2保罗在四章一至二十四节，给了我们与神呼召相配之生活的原则。这个原则乃是脱去旧人并穿上新人。从四章二十五节至六章九节，保罗陈明一种正确生活的细节。我们若要达到这一切细节的要求，就必须照著实际，并凭著恩典过生活。不仅如此，我们也必须活在爱和光中，且在我们的灵里被充满。我们已经指出，在灵里被充满，是与神呼召相配之生活的一方面。
2In 4:1-24 Paul gives us the principle of a life worthy of God’scall ing. This principle is a matter of having put off the old man and of having put on the new man. From 4:25 through 6:9 Paul presents the details of a proper living. If we would fulfill all these detailed requirements, we need to live according to the truth and by grace. Furthermore, we must live in love and in light, and we must be filled in our spirit. As we have pointed out, being filled in spirit is an aspect of the life worthy of God’scall ing
3妻子与丈夫之间的关系，乃是联于在灵里被充满。这是那些在灵里被充满，达到神一切丰满的人，日常生活的一面。因此，当我们说到妻子与丈夫之间的关系时，我们不该忽略在里面被充满。我们惟有在灵里被充满，才能有正确的婚姻生活。
3The relationship between wives and husbands is connected to the matter of being filled in spirit. It is an aspect of the daily living of those who are filled in spirit unto all the fullness of God. Therefore, when we speak about the relationship between wives and husbands, we should not neglect the infilling. Only by being filled in our spirit can we have a proper married life
贰 作妻子的
II. WIVES
4二十二节说，『作妻子的，要服从自己的丈夫，如同服从主。』这是二十一节所包含的一种服从。使徒在关于婚姻生活的劝勉里，首先说到作妻子的，因为作妻子的，像创世记三章的夏娃，比作丈夫的容易偏离正路。
4Verse 22 says, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.” This is one of the kinds of subjection implied in verse 21. In the exhortations concerning married life, the apostle deals first with the wives, since the wives, like Eve in Genesis 3, more easily get out of line than the husbands
5同样的原则，保罗先说到儿女，再说到父母；先说到奴仆，再说到主人。儿女与父母之间，大多数的难处是出在儿女身上，不是出在父母身上。儿女不顺从父母，反而，在实际生活中，常是父母顺从儿女。妻子与丈夫之间的关系也是如此。作丈夫的，在你们的婚姻生活里，是你们顺从妻子多，还是她们顺从你们多？大多数作丈夫的，不得不回答说，他们顺从妻子，多过妻子顺从他们。你也许认为作丈夫的顺从妻子、作父母的顺从儿女是不对的。虽然这似乎有悖常理，但在实际上的确是如此。作丈夫的若不知道如何顺从妻子，他们就不会有和睦的婚姻生活。凡不会顺从妻子的丈夫，都不知道如何体恤妻子并爱妻子。作丈夫的要爱他的妻子，就必须体恤她，甚至顺从她。惟有顺从才能生发顺从。惟有顺从才能出代价在别人里面产生顺从。作丈夫的若从来没有顺从过妻子，就很难叫妻子顺从他。
5In the same principle, Paul deals with children before parents, and slaves before masters. Regarding the relationship between children and parents, most of the problems are caused by the children, not by the parents. The children are disobedient to their parents, but, in actual practice, the parents are obedient to their children. The same is true of the relationship between wives and husbands. Husbands, in your married life, do you obey your wife more than she obeys you, or does she obey you more? Most husbands would have to answer that they obey their wives more than their wives obey them. You may think that it is not right for husbands to obey their wives or for parents to obey their children. Although this may seem backwards according to doctrine, it is true according to practice. If husbands do not know how to obey their wives, they will not have a peaceful married life. Any husband who does not obey his wife does not know how to sympathize with her and to love her. In order for a husband to love his wife, he must sympathize with her and even obey her. Only obedience can beget obedience. Only obedience can pay the price to produce obedience in others. If a husband never obeys his wife, it will be very difficult for his wife to obey him.
6彼前三章七节说，妻子是软弱的器皿。这就是保罗在以弗所五章这里先对作妻子的说话的原因。保罗在关于妻子与丈夫，儿女与父母，奴仆与主人的劝勉里，都是先顾到软弱的一边，然后才顾到刚强的一边。刚强的一边不该对软弱的一边有要求。如果作丈夫的晓得妻子是较为软弱的器皿，他就不会对她有所要求。我们以上所讲的，并不是否定五章二十二节所说，作妻子的要服从自己的丈夫这个明显的事实。既然我们都熟悉这个劝勉，就不必再说甚么来加强或加重这事。
6First Peter 3:7 says that wives are weaker vessels. This is the reason Paul speaks to wives first here in Ephesians 5. In his exhortations concerning wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters, Paul takes care firstly of the weaker side and then of the stronger side. Those on the stronger side should not place demands on those on the weaker side. If a husband realizes that his wife is the weaker vessel, he will not be demanding of her. What we have said thus far does not deny the obvious fact in 5:22 that wives are to be subject to their husbands. Because we all are familiar with this exhortation, there is no need for us to say anything to strengthen it or to intensify it
一 服从自己的丈夫
A. Subject to Their Own Husbands
7保罗在二十二节劝勉作妻子的，要服从自己的丈夫。作妻子的，多半欣赏、尊敬别人的丈夫；因此，使徒劝勉作妻子的，不论自己的丈夫怎样，都要服从他。保罗论到作妻子的要服从自己的丈夫，这话指明作妻子的有一个倾向，将自己的丈夫与别人的丈夫比较。作丈夫的对他们的妻子也可能如此。如果我们缺少恩典或不活在神的光中，我们也许会作这样的比较。这是撒但破坏婚姻生活的诡计。在订婚时，你也许认为，你所计画要嫁的人是最好的。但是嫁给他之后，你也许开始将他与别人比较。因此，保罗劝勉作妻子的，要服从自己的丈夫，不要作比较。保罗用同样的原则，对作丈夫的说话，劝勉他们要爱自己的妻子。（28，33。）这指明他们不该将自己的妻子与别人的妻子比较。我们必须恨恶这样的比较。这样的比较乃是出于仇敌撒但，并会导致分居，甚至离婚。我们若渴慕过一种与神的呼召相配的生活，一种照著实际，凭著恩典，并在爱和光中的生活，就不可将自己的妻子或丈夫与别人的比较。作妻子的反而应当服从自己的丈夫，作丈夫的应当爱自己的妻子。
7In verse 22 Paul exhorts wives to be subject to their own husbands. Most wives appreciate and respect others’ husbands. Hence, the apostle exhorts the wives to be subject to their own husbands, no matter what kind of husbands they are. Paul’s word about wives submitting to their own husbands indicates that there is the tendency for wives to compare their husbands with the husbands of others. Husbands may do the same thing regarding their wives. If we are short of grace and do not live in the light of God, we may make such comparisons. This is the subtlety of Satan to damage married life. During your engagement, you may have thought that the one you were planning to marry was the best. But after you married him, you may have begun to compare him with others. Therefore, Paul exhorted the wives to submit to their own husbands and not to make comparisons. In the same principle, when Paul addresses the husbands, he exhorts them to love their own wives (vv. 28, 33). This indicates that they should not compare their wives with the wives of others. We must hate such comparisons. They originate with the enemy, Satan, and can lead to separation or even divorce. If we desire to live a life worthy of God’scall ing, a life according to truth, by grace, and in love and light, we must not compare our wife or husband with others. Rather, wives should submit to their own husbands, and husbands should love their own wives.
二 如同服从主
B. As to the Lord
8按照保罗在二十二节的话，作妻子的应当服从自己的丈夫，『如同服从主』。作妻子的要认识，在主眼中，作丈夫的代表主。在婚姻生活中，作丈夫的如同主一样，这是作妻子的必须服从自己丈夫的原因。我怀疑有多少已婚的妻子会把自己的丈夫当作主一样。今天婚姻生活的光景真是可悲，满了不服和背叛。尽管如此，正如基督是召会的头，也是身体的救主，作妻子的必须服从自己的丈夫，如同服从主。亚伯拉罕的妻子撒拉，是这事的好榜样。按照彼前三章六节：『撒拉顺从亚伯拉罕，称他为主。』
8According to Paul’sword in verse 22, wives are to be subject to their own husbands “as to the Lord.” The wives need to realize that in the eyes of the Lord the husband represents the Lord. The reason the wife must submit to her own husband is that in married life he is as the Lord. I doubt that many married sisters regard their husbands as the Lord. The situation regarding married life today is deplorable, filled with disobedience and rebellion. Nevertheless, as Christ is the Head of the church and the Savior of the Body, wives must be subject to their husbands as to the Lord. Sarah, the wife of Abraham, was a good example of this. According to 1 Peter 3:6, “Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord
三 以丈夫作头
C. Taking the Husband as the Head
9作妻子的也必须以丈夫作头。二十三节说，『因为丈夫是妻子的头，如同基督是召会的头；祂自己乃是身体的救主。』丈夫是妻子的头，表征基督是召会的头。基督不仅是召会的头，也是身体的救主。头是权柄的事，救主是爱的事。祂是我们的头，我们必须服从祂；祂是我们的救主，我们要爱祂。妻子和丈夫之间的关系也该如此。
9Wives must also take their husbands as the head. Verse 23 says, “For a husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church, being Himself the Savior of the Body.” As head of the wife, a husband typifies Christ as the Head of the church. In addition to being the Savior of the Body, Christ is also the Head of the church. The Savior is a matter of love, whereas the Head is a matter of authority. We love Christ as our Savior, but we must also be subject to Him as our Head. It ought to be the same in the relationship between wives and husbands
四 在凡事上
D. In Everything
10保罗在二十四节继续说，『召会怎样服从基督，妻子也要照样凡事服从丈夫。』这里的思想乃是：作丈夫的虽然不是妻子的救主，如同基督之于召会；但作妻子的仍需服从她们的丈夫，如同召会服从基督。按照神的命定，妻子对丈夫的服从该是绝对的、没有任何选择。这不是说，她们该凡事顺从。顺从与服从不同。顺从重在顺，服从重在服。在罪恶的事上，在得罪神、得罪主的事上，妻子不该顺从丈夫；然而，她们仍该服从丈夫。如但以理的三个朋友，不顺从巴比伦王拜偶像的命令，却仍服巴比伦王的权柄。（但三13～23。）
10In verse 2 4 Paul goes on to say, “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives to their husbands in everything.” The thought here is this: although husbands are not the savior of their wives as Christ is of the church, the wives still need to be subject to their husbands as the church is to Christ. According to divine ordination, the subjection of the wives to their husbands should be absolute, without any choice. This does not mean that they should obey their husbands in everything. To obey is different from being subject. In sinful things, things a gainst God, the wives should not obey their husbands. However, they should still be in subjection to them.
五 敬畏丈夫
E. Fearing the Husband
11在三十三节保罗说，妻子应当看见，她『也要敬畏丈夫』。作妻子的该敬丈夫为头，丈夫乃是表征基督作召会的头；所以她该凭著敬畏基督（21）而敬畏丈夫。丈夫作妻子的头，乃是主的代表。因这缘故，作妻子的应当敬畏丈夫。
11In verse 33 Paul says that the wife should see that “she fear her husband.” Because the wife should respect her husband as the head, the one who typifies Christ as the Head of the church, she should fear her husband in the fear of Christ (v. 21). As the head of the wife, the husband is the representative of the Lord. For this reason, the wife should fear the husband
参 作丈夫的
III. HUSBANDS
一 爱他们的妻子
A. Loving Their Wives
12保罗劝勉作丈夫的，要爱他们的妻子。与服从相对的是管辖；但使徒并没有劝作丈夫的管辖妻子，乃是劝他们爱妻子。在婚姻生活中，妻子的责任是服从，丈夫的责任是爱。妻子的服从，加上丈夫的爱，就构成正确的婚姻生活，也表征正常的召会生活─召会服从基督，基督爱召会。
12Paul exhorts the husbands to love their wives. The opposite of subjection is ruling. However, the apostle does not exhort the husbands to rule over the wives, but to love them. In married life, the wife’s obligation is subjection and the husband’s, love. The wife’s subjection plus the husband’s love constitutes proper married life and typifies the normal church life, in which the church is subject to Christ and Christ loves the church
二 正如基督爱召会，为召会舍了自己
B. As Christ Loved the Church and Gave Himself Up for Her
13二十五节说，『作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱召会，为召会舍了自己。』丈夫对妻子的爱，必须像基督对召会的爱。这意思是说，作丈夫的应当为他们的妻子舍了自己。
13Verse 25 says, “Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” A husband’s love for his wife must be like Christ’s love for the church. This means that a husband ought to give himself up for his wife
14对丈夫的要求比对妻子的要求重得多。服从一个人，不像为一个人舍了自己那样难。舍了自己就是成为殉道者，牺牲你的性命。作丈夫的要爱妻子到这样的地步，以自己作代价。他们必须甘愿付出极大的代价，甚至为妻子死。
14The requirement for the husband is much heavier than that for the wife. Submitting to someone is not as difficult as giving yourself up for someone. To give yourself up is to be a martyr, to sacrifice your life. Husbands are to love their wives at such a cost to themselves. They must be willing to pay a great price, even to die for their wives
三 如同爱自己的身体
C. As Their Own Bodies
15二十八节说，『丈夫也当照样爱自己的妻子，如同爱自己的身体；爱自己妻子的，便是爱自己了。』保罗在这节两次题到丈夫爱自己的妻子。正如我们曾经指出的，这指明作丈夫的要爱自己的妻子，不要将她与别人比较。保罗在这节劝勉作丈夫的，要爱自己的妻子，如同爱自己的身体。每个人都爱惜自己的身体。作丈夫的应当把妻子当作自己身体的一部分，并且照顾她，如同照顾自己的身体。
15Verse 28 says, “So the husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.” In this verse Paul twice speaks of husbands loving their own wives. As we have pointed out, this indicates that a husband is to love his wife without comparing her to others. In this verse Paul exhorts the husbands to love their own wives as their own bodies. Everyone loves his body. A husband should regard his wife as part of his body and care for her as his own body.
1 保养
1. Nourishing
16二十九节继续说，『从来没有人恨恶自己的身体，总是保养顾惜，正像基督待召会一样。』我们对肉身的爱惜，表现在保养顾惜。保养就是𫗪养。关于肉身的保养，是作妻子的保养丈夫。作丈夫的为妻子作菜，总是有点不正常的情形。但就著属灵一面说，作丈夫的要保养他们的妻子。正如我们为著身体的缘故而吃，所以作丈夫的也要为妻子的缘故，从主有所领受。作丈夫的如此行，就把妻子当作他身体的一部分。作丈夫的需要保养他的妻子，顾到她的需要，如同他顾到自己身体的需要一样。这就是二十九节里保养的意思。
16Verse 29 goes on to say, “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ also the church.” We show love for our body by nourishing and cherishing it. To nourish is to feed. Concerning physical nourishment, it is the wife who nourishes the husband. It is a somewhat abnormal situation for the husband to do the cooking for the wife. But spiritually speaking, husbands are to nourish their wives. Just as we eat for the sake of our body, so husbands need to take in something of the Lord for the sake of their wives. In doing this a husband regards his wife as part of his body. A husband needs to nourish his wife, to take care of her need, just as he takes care of the need of his body. This is the meaning of nourish in verse 29
17接受某些东西来满足妻子的需要，这显出深挚的爱。我知道有些作丈夫的擅长烹饪，他们甚至为妻子作菜。最终我明白，他们只是为著自己的享受而烹饪，却忽略了妻子真正的需要。保养妻子，意思不是为她服事饭食，乃是指你从主有所领受，来顾到她的需要。这样，你就保养了她，正如你保养自己的身体一样。这是真正的爱。
17To take in something to meet the wife’s need reveals a deep love. I have known some husbands who were skillful in cooking. They even cooked for their wives. Eventually I learned that they were cooking only for their own enjoyment, but they neglected the real need of their wives. To nourish your wife does not mean to serve food to her. It means that you take in something of the Lord to care for her need. In this way you nourish her just as you nourish your own body. This is real love
2 顾惜
2. Cherishing
18作丈夫的也应当藉著顾惜自己的妻子，而爱自己的妻子，如同爱自己的身体一样。顾惜是以柔爱养育，并以亲切的照料维护，藉柔细的温暖使人外面软化，好在里面得著安慰、舒适的安息。这是基督照料祂身体─召会─的作法。顾惜就是给与深切柔和的照顾，藉著柔细的温暖，使其软化。例如，一只母鸟把雏鸟覆罩在翅膀下，以牠身体的温暖使雏鸟软化。在母鸟的怀抱之下，小鸟就得著柔细的温暖。母体爱的怀抱所发的热气，软化且温暖了冰冷的小鸟。
18Husbands should also love their wives as their own bodies by cherishing their wives. To cherish is to nurture with tender love and foster with tender care. This is the way Christ cares for the church as His Body. To cherish something is to care for it deeply and tenderly. It is to soften it through tender warmth. For example, a mother bird softens baby birds with the warmth of her body as she holds them under her wings. Under her embrace, the little birds are warmed tenderly. The heat from the loving embrace of the mother’s body softens and warms the cold little birds
19有时候作妻子的像冰冷的小鸟。她们也许没有和丈夫吵嘴，甚至也没有生他们的气，却是冷冰冰的。她们也许用冰冷作武器征服丈夫。这时，作丈夫的就该柔细的温暖、软化他的妻子，如同母鸟以怀抱来温暖雏鸟一般。这就是顾惜。一个藉著恩典并在爱中这样顾惜他妻子的弟兄，必定是个好丈夫。
19Sometimes wives are like cold birds. They may not argue with their husbands or even be angry with them, but they may become cold. They may use coldness as a weapon to subdue their husbands. At such times, a husband should tenderly warm and soften his wife, just as a mother bird warms her baby birds by embracing them. This is cherishing. A brother who by grace and in love cherishes his wife in this way will surely be a good husband
20藉著这样的顾惜所传输的温暖不会伤人，反之，会柔细的使人舒畅，甚至融化人的心。这正是主在召会中向我们所作的。虽然我们爱主，但有时在我们的经历中，我们成了『冷冰冰的小鸟』。我们也许没有背叛主，但是我们变得冰冷了。这时，主就来怀抱我们，以祂的羽翼来覆蔽我们，为要温暖我们。藉著祂怀抱的温暖，祂软化了『冷冰冰的小鸟』，并且融化了我们的硬心。这是主对祂身体柔细的爱。
20The warmth conveyed through such cherishing does not burn others; it soothes them tenderly and even melts their hearts. This is exactly what the Lord does to us in the church. Although we love the Lord, sometimes in our experience we become “cold birds.” We may not rebel against the Lord, but we may become cold. At these times, the Lord embraces us, spreading His wings over us in order to warm us up. By the warmth of His embrace He softens the “cold birds” and melts our hard hearts. This is the Lord’st ender love for His Body
四 离开父母，与妻子联合，
D. Leaving Father and Mother and
二人成为一体
Being Joined to the Wife as One Flesh
21三十一节说，『为这缘故，人要离开父母，与妻子联合，二人成为一体。』基督与召会是一灵，（林前六17，）如同丈夫与妻子成为一体所表征的，这是极大的奥秘。
21Verse 31 says, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh.” Christ and the church being one spirit (1 Cor. 6:17), as typified by the husband and wife being one flesh, are the great mystery.
22要过正确的婚姻生活，人就必须离开父母，与妻子联合，二人成为一体。男女结婚，是为著他们自己的婚姻生活，不是为著他们父母的家庭生活。不管是岳父、岳母，或者公公、婆婆，都不该打岔婚姻。已婚夫妇与公婆或岳父母住在一起，完全违背圣经的原则。这样的安排破坏婚姻生活。按照圣经的原则，人应当离开父母，与妻子成为一。当然，这原则也适用于妻子。我知道有些年轻女子订婚时有个条件，就是婚后夫妇要与女方父母同住。这是不对的。夫妻惟有离开父母，才能有正确的婚姻生活。这是神话语的教导。
22For a proper married life, a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife as one flesh. A man and a woman get married for the sake of their own married life, not for the sake of their parents’ family life. Neither the parents of the wife nor those of the husband should interfere with the marriage. It is absolutely against the biblical principle for a married couple to live either with the husband’spare nts or with the wife’spare nts. Such an arrangement spoils married life. According to biblical principle, a man should leave his father and mother and be one with his wife. This principle, of course, also applies to the wife. I know of some young women who became engaged with the condition that after marriage the couple would live with the wife’spare nts. This is wrong. Only when the husband and the wife both leave their parents can they have a proper married life. This is the teaching of the Word of God
五 爱自己的妻子，如同爱自己一样
E. Loving Their Own Wives as Themselves
23末了，保罗在二十八节说，作丈夫的要爱自己的妻子，如同爱自己的身体。他也说，『爱自己妻子的，便是爱自己了。』三十三节再强调同样的点。这指明作丈夫的对自己的妻子必须有深挚的爱。
23Finally, in verse 28 Paul says that the husband ought to love his own wife as his own body. He also says, “He who loves his own wife loves himself.” The same point is stressed again in verse 33. This indicates the depth of the love a husband must have for his wife.